انتبهت زوجة (قضّام الروس) من ضكة وريحة دخان غليونه، فزحفت على أوراكها إلى قرب المشبّ المتوارية قبسه؛ واستقربت الفانوس؛ ولّعته؛ ولاحظت من ملامح وجهه أنه ما اهتنى بالنوم، فقالت؛ وشب وجهك كما جلد الحربا، الشوفة في الله ولا فيك؟ كاد يتجاهل سؤالها، ولكن لابد له من شوير، فأبدى لها سده قائلاً؛ أنا من بيت جود؛ وودي أحمل الشيمة في جماعتي، واغدي لهم دفا وشِفا، وأصبح راس قوم، فنشدته؛ وش تدوّر عندهم وش فيدتك منهم لا حملت فيهم الشيمة؟ فأجابها؛ قولة ونعم تكبّر الرأس، وتمتّن العفاس، وتكفينا شر الباس.
حاولت تثنيه عما في رأسه، وكلما هدّدته وتوعدته؛ بالشردة عند أهلها، وتخليه في كبّته؛ يردّ عليها؛ من قطّبك عساك ما تنكفين، وعدّل العمامة والعقال وقال؛ طلابتي ما يحصون، وإن قاله الله، وقلعتِ عروقك بايدك، ما أرز مكانها إلا بنت بنوت يهوى لها طير ربي من سماه، ولأنها تعوّدت على حماقاته؛ لاذت بالصمت تفادياً للتصعيد.
ما خلا ورا جهده جهد، ليحوز الوجاهة ويتغنى بكرمه ورجالته الجميع، اشتهر وغدا مقصد الكبير والصغير، والنسوان والرجاجيل، فثقته كبيرة في نفسه، ولسانه يقطّع السواري، وينقّط شيره، وفي سبيل ذلك، اللي في جيبه ما هو له؛ فيعزم ويسلّف، ويقضي اللازم، لين خسر ما قدامه وما وراه، ما درى أن الشياخة جايرة وصعيبة، ما زانت له الظروف، وقصرت به سمحات؛ بعدما أنفق من تركة أهله الراحلين، ما أثار حفيظة بقية الورثة، فوطّى المناقع فوق الزير.
تحرى حد بيبدي منه، ويعرض عليه عازه والا معتازة، لكنه ما كنه سوى فيهم لا صوف ولا معروف، شدّت له الحرمة الحلس؛ وقالت؛ اهبط السوق، كمّن يفتح لنا الله باب؛ وأكدت له بأن امتلاء الجيب يغطي العيب، فنقل نشاطه إلى السوق، وتعلّم الدّلالة، من الحمير إلى الثيران، إلى الغنم؛ وكل ما جمع له قرشين، عوّد لطبعه وربعه؛ فاستغاثت الزوجة، وطالبته؛ يصرّ الدراهم؛ قالت؛ ايدك مخروقة ما تحفظ الريال؛ وأضافت؛ إن كان إنك ملزّم تتمشيخ، فشف لك غير السوق، وخل التجارة لاهلها.
نصحه الفقيه، نصيحة غشّ وقال؛ أندر المشرق وخذ لك جلبة، إلى رأس الحول، وربك كريم؛ فركب المشدود، وديّح ويلا البادية، وعاد بسارحة تشوق العين، وما باع منها طرف، يطبخ الذبيحة في مرقة أختها؛ ويردد؛ فقير مات غني مات، وتحيّر على الديانة بمضي الحول، فأقبلوا عليه؛ فطوى نفسه في الهدم وانسدح في ركن البيت، وقال ميد مرته؛ هبي التورة فوق رأسي، نادوا عليه؛ ردّت؛ سرح الفيض بالهدم والتورة، قنعوا بكلامها، فافتكوا حمارته من السفل وقالوا للمعزبة؛ بنأخذ المشدود والوعد بيننا وبينه عند شيخ القبيلة.
طالبته زوجته بالسفر، والغربة تفرّج الكُربة، وقالت؛ الرزق مع مزاحمة الأقدام. ردّ عليها؛ واللي خلقك ما اتغانى لو تحجّ البقرة على قرونها، فدخل عليهم رمضان، والحالة حالة الزرى، وفي ليلة من ليالي العشر الأواخر، أيقظته زوجته منتصف الليل قائلة؛ ألحق الرزق يا قضّام الروس؛ وقام داجر وعلّق بالطاقة ذات العوارض الحديدية؛ وأدخل رأسه من بين صيخين؛ ورفع يديه إلى السماء، ودعا؛ يارب تجعل رأسي أكبر الروس، فانتفخ رأسه لين غدا أكبر من رأس الثور، حاول يستعيده من بين العوارض، فلم ينجح، نشب، وما وده أحد يسمع مجادلته هو والمرة، فطلب منها؛ تجيب له دهانة؛ وتمرّخ آذانيه وتسحبه من قفاته؛ سحبت راس بقعا، ولم تفلح في ادخالها.
سألته؛ وش طلبت من ربك، فقال؛ طلبته يجعل رأسي أكبر الروس، فقالت؛ باب السماء ما زال مفتوحاً، فاطلب الله يصغّر رأسك؛ فدعا ربه يجعل رأسه أصغر الروس، فغدا كما المسحقة بين أكتافه، ولاحظت أن منظره يثير السخرية، فقالت؛ باب السماء مفتوح، استلحق الإجابة واطلب الله يرد رأسك سواته؛ فقال؛ ربي رد رأسي كما كان؛ فعاد رأسه إلى وضعه السابق؛ علّقت الزوجة؛ يا سبعة يا سكون إن كان أفلحت بركة ليلة القدر، في نفشة الراس وفشّته.
استرد أنفاسه، وطلب منها تلحقه بطاسة الماء؛ وتواسى على مقاعده في بسطة الطاقة؛ شرب لين روي، وبدع (من بعد ماصار راسي زايد واكبر الرووس، بعد النشب قلت يا الله رد راسي مكانه).
His wife (the one who deals with the Russians) noticed the sound and smell of his hookah smoke, so she crawled on her thighs closer to the hidden flame of the fireplace; she approached the lantern; lit it; and noticed from his facial expressions that he hadn’t enjoyed sleep, so she said; “Your face is as swollen as a warthog’s skin, is it for God or for you?” He almost ignored her question, but he had to respond, so he showed her his resolve saying; “I come from a generous household; I want to carry the honor among my people, and provide them warmth and comfort, and become the head of my tribe.” She asked him; “What are you looking for among them, what benefit do you get from them if you carry the honor?” He replied; “A saying, yes, it raises the head, strengthens the dignity, and protects us from the evils of hardship.”
She tried to dissuade him from what was in his mind, and every time she threatened him and warned him; with running away to her family, and leaving him in his misery; he would respond to her; “Whoever is angry with you, may you not be upset, and he adjusted his turban and headband and said; “My students are countless, and if God wills, even if you uproot your veins with your own hands, I will not find a place for it except for a daughter who is loved by a bird of the Lord from His sky.” And because she was used to his foolishness; she resorted to silence to avoid escalation.
He exerted effort to gain prestige and to boast of his generosity and manhood to everyone; he became famous and a destination for both the big and small, women and men, so he had great confidence in himself, and his tongue would cut through the pillars, and he would drip his syrup, and for that, what was in his pocket was not his; he would insist and lend, and fulfill the necessary, until he lost what was in front of him and what was behind him, not realizing that leadership is a burden and difficult, the circumstances did not favor him, and the opportunities were limited; after he spent from the inheritance of his deceased family, what stirred the resentment of the remaining heirs, so he settled in the marshes above the well.
He sought to find someone to help him, and offered him his need or his neediness, but he found nothing among them, neither wool nor kindness, so the woman tightened the blanket around him; and said; “Go down to the market, perhaps God will open a door for us;” and she assured him that a full pocket covers the shame, so he shifted his activity to the market, and learned about trading, from donkeys to bulls, to sheep; and every time he gathered a few coins, he would return to his nature and his friends; so the wife cried out, and demanded; “You must insist on the money;” she said; “Your hand is torn, you cannot keep a riyal;” and added; “If you are determined to seek leadership, then find something other than the market, and leave trade to its people.”
The scholar advised him, with a deceptive piece of advice, saying; “Go to the east and take a load for yourself, until the end of the year, and your Lord is generous;” so he rode the donkey, and headed to the desert, and returned with a herd that delighted the eye, and he did not sell any of it, cooking the sacrifice in the broth of its sister; and he repeated; “A poor man died, a rich man died,” and he was confused about the religion as the year passed, so they approached him; he folded himself in the ruin and lay down in a corner of the house, and said to his wife; “Bring me the blanket over my head,” they called out to him; she replied; “The flood has come with the ruin and the blanket,” they accepted her words, so they took his donkey from the ground and said to the owner; “We will take the donkey and the promise between us and him is with the tribe’s chief.”
His wife demanded that he travel, and that being away would relieve the distress, and she said; “Provision comes with the crowding of feet.” He replied to her; “And the one who created you did not become rich even if the cow were to walk on its horns,” then Ramadan entered upon them, and the situation was dire, and on one of the nights of the last ten days, his wife woke him up at midnight saying; “Hurry for the provision, O the one who deals with the Russians;” and he got up groggy and hung from the iron-beamed ceiling; and put his head between the beams; and raised his hands to the sky, and prayed; “O Lord, make my head the biggest of heads,” and his head swelled until it became bigger than a bull’s head, he tried to pull it back from between the beams, but he failed, he got stuck, and he didn’t want anyone to hear his argument with his wife, so he asked her; “Get me some grease;” and to rub his ears and pull him by his neck; she pulled his head with a jerk, but she failed to get it in.
She asked him; “What did you ask from your Lord?” He said; “I asked Him to make my head the biggest of heads,” she said; “The door of heaven is still open, so ask God to make your head smaller;” so he prayed to his Lord to make his head smaller, and he became like a flat pancake between his shoulders, and she noticed that his appearance was ridiculed, so she said; “The door of heaven is open, hurry for the answer and ask God to return your head to its size;” he said; “My Lord, return my head to how it was;” and his head returned to its previous position; the wife commented; “O seven, O stillness, if the blessing of the Night of Decree succeeded, in the swelling of the head and its deflation.”
He regained his breath, and asked her to bring him a bowl of water; and he consoled himself on his seat in the stretch of the ceiling; he drank until he was satisfied, and he said (after my head became bigger and the biggest of heads, after getting stuck I said, O God, return my head to its place).
